Sam Principle

The governing principle in the life of Sam. The central belief of Sam Principle is one of intense self-centeredness, in that the world outside of Sam counts for nothing save to provide him with occasional entertainment. Any decision made utimately considers the needs of Sam first, and the needs of others, however important, a distant second – if at all. As a result of this line of thinking, amusement becomes the highest ideal. The Principle serves primarily to govern his social interactions, but extends to his life choices of a half-assed job, a half-assed band, and general unwillingness to be more than a 3-hour drive from Ames, as such activities apparently provide limited to no entertainment value.

While generally uncompromising, Sam has exhibited tendencies to allow exceptions to the Sam Principle. Such scenarios include:

1. Exhibition of uncharacteristic generosity and selflessness in dealings with anyone having the surname ‘Wong’ (more specifically, anyone named Doc Wong, Samsmom, Elton, or Liz.)
2. Lucky individuals who have Sam in attendance at their birthday celebrations often find him surprisingly generous and willing to partake in drunken revelry.
3. Heisenburg uncertainty acts of kindness (e.g., an unexpected gift of shampoo, toilet paper, or food).
4. Sam Humor Postulate (see below).

Sam Humor Postulate is an extension of the Sam Principle, and concerns the suspension of all principles for the sake of a joke, practical or otherwise (e.g., Translocation). While the circumstances in which Sam Humor Postulate is invoked are various, the Postulate is motivated and characterized by the following:

1. Personal amusement as the highest ideal.
2. The better the friend, the bigger the laugh (see S*I*A*F and l'ames).
3. An exaggerated and often over-used sense of ‘irony’ or ‘contrarianism.’
4. Temporary moratorium on personal code of conduct, often in a flagrant display of hypocrisy, resulting in a loss of self-credibility.