IRC (Internet Relay Chat), initially yet another vehicle for the mockery of Steve, is nowadays a communication tool for an esteemed group of Ames all-stars who are too cool to use IM during the day. While at its conception all irc members regularly interacted with each other IRL, thereby providing a fresh influx of joke material, the current version serves as a method for members (who are now mostly scattered to the four corners of the country) to keep in touch through the use of rehashed jokes, stale humor, and general beating of the proverbial dead horse. Backstabbing, /msg gossip, and mockery are also commonly involved. The overall goal of the channel is to support the highest ideal–amusement (see Sam Principle)–while most members are confined to the inane drudgery of daily jobs. This ideal is perhaps best summarized by ross, the patron saint of irc:
<rosshm> friends are people you can mock at their expense for you[sic] own benefit. (#isu, 2003)
<rosshm> irc is a good place to make fun of your friends’ shortcomings (#isu, 2006)
The very first irc channel, #isu, came into being sometime around spring 2003 (flagged for verification). Initially it was hosted on a server by the name of Jesus, which was safely hidden beneath a pile of empty potato chip bags under Steve‘s bed in his dorm room. Due to circumstances beyond Steve’s control, the server frequently changed locations and computers, migrating from Jesus to Buddha and finally to Himac before The Great Unpleasantness of 2004.
The Great Unpleasantness, as it came to be known in later years, was the schismization of the channel into two distinct and separate channels, #freedom (later to be renamed #irx) and #pf. The exact cause of the channel breach is still disputed, but likely came about as the result of a critical mass of attitude and penis-measuring that tended to dominate the channel towards the end of spring semester 2004. An excess of bait has also been citied as a possible cause, although it has been noted that the channel disintegration coincided with Ben‘s 3-week hiatus in Europe. Ben, who frequently went by the handle <bzen>, was known as the glue of the channel, having the unique ability to remain neutral while imparting a mollifying effect on the channel’s typical senseless bickering.
Currently, #irx resides on a server named Sherman (in honor of the legendary South Sherman), located in a remote bunker in Kansas City. #pf met its demise at the hands of jabber sometime in 2006.
While anything goes in the name of humor or mockery, certain topics carry more weight in typical irc conversations. The “Big Three” include video games, ethnic slurs, and Batman Begins (ross, 2006). However, certain other topics seem to transcend these generally-accepted guidelines. These include, but are not necessarily limited to:
According to ross, the 3 biggest sins of irc include:
A member found guilty of any of the above infractions will often endure the harsh mockery and belittlement of the rest of the channel, honoring the age-old tradition of bullying honed on the playgrounds of our youth.
Given the amount of time wasted on irc, it was inevitable that certain innovations in humor would evolve, much in the same way that the proverbial room full of monkeys and typewriters could eventually produce a shit-caked Shakespeare play. The most finely-honed tactics generally reach fruition in real world applications at some point.
The textbook example of such an innovation is the tactic known as bait, which is the use of deliberately inflammatory material to either coerce the target member to decloak, or to produce a humorous reaction (e.g., /kick, /kill, /kline) out of said target. While pioneered on Steve while irc was still young, the technique has recently been applied with some success to other irc denizens, and in other areas of the internet (see atgb). Other innovations include:
<X1> brb piss break. <ross> the pizz break is an important college skill <jimothy_skirt> peeing in a bottle is an important college skill <ross> also pooping in a sock <jimothy_skirt> dude that so crossed the line.<steve> abuck by the way nice work on staying away from “toxic” irx <steve> by coming here and being toxic yourself <steve> good move <steve> dick -:- SignOff steve: #irx (Quit: leaving) <granx> OK HELP ME <granx> WINDOWS JUST GAVE ME PERMA CAPS AND I DONT KNOW WHY <steve> caps lok <granx> HEY STEVEDOUCHE THE L.e.d. is off <steve> sam you convused lame with advanced <sam> it’s the raptor steve <sam> obviously with the raptor and fence, fence is not suposed to find it amusing <steve> wow that was a lame as shit jokeWhether out of boredom or sheer laziness, communication on irc requires knowledge of certain key acronyms, which are constantly being developed and shit directly into the channel. The following list includes some of the more common acronyms that any imbecile who ventures into the # should be aware of:
The list of acronyms makes it easier to type without using profanity, while keeping all the meaning and hatefulness of the profanity intact. You could say that the acronyms are generally shorthand for hate.
Exclamations are often used to celebrate life’s many splendors, confuse and/or annoy.