====== Samuel En-Lai Wong ======

{{sam_nixon.jpg?480}}

===== Overview =====

Sam is a nintendo fan boy, an asexual, the lamest human ever, and also a douche. His life is guided by the [[Sam Principle]].

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Sam is very bad at communication, he will often not respond to questions in a useful way.

===== Evidence of Sam Being a Douche =====

Evidence of sam being a douche can also be seen in this photo which was taken in the great SOUTH SHERMAN apt #13:

{{samdouche.jpg?480}}

[[abuck]] had this nugget to offer:

<abuck> sam you just think i am 9/10th homosexual because that is what the mass media tells you. see you are actually gay, but it denial, you just hide it by **dressing poorly** and **playing nintendo all day**


===== Sam's Day =====
It was established years ago on [[irc]] that a typical day in the life of Sam goes something like this:
  - Wake Up
  - Drive to Work
  - Eat Mexican't
  - Drive Home
  - Be Lame

While we are not sure that he eats Mexican for lunch as often as he used to, the rest of the sequence is typically still followed.

With the move to Minneapolis and the hourly contracting job, it has been noted that application of Stage 5. is coming earlier and earlier. Some days it comes as soon as 1:30 PM. At the same time, Stage 2. has been happening later in the day, approaching 10:00 AM.

With eating lunch (Stage 3.) happening around 11:00 AM, it would seem that Sam is approaching approximately 2-3 hours of productivity per diem.


===== Idiotic Money Plans =====

Sam is known for his idiotic money plans, like the infinite zero-apr balance transfer scheme, the make money off the credit card company scheme, and the "I'll put my mac pro across 2 different credit cards" scheme.  Sam also devised a scheme to defraud Target, by closing his target credit card, then opening a new one with which to purchase over $500 worth of Wii shit with 10% discount. This stupid scheme failed.

He is also extraordinarily bad at paying his debts to friends. Sam would rather waste a week coming up with idiotic ways to pay, or trying to get others to pay for him, or paying only a fraction and saying [[ben]] will pick up the rest, than just pay it himself in the 5 minutes it would take.

===== Sam and Music =====

Sam was a drummer in the well-known Top 40 cover band //Lesser Known Saint// and on the fast track to success.  In 2006 he moved to Minneapolis in order to drive to Iowa every weekend for LKS shows.  He was forced to quit for not being fat enough. Currently Sam plays in a half-band with an appreciation for his anemic stature. They sound something like a cross between //Evanescence// and a //KoRn// cover band, and are no doubt destined for greatness.

Sam has excellent taste in music.  He preferences include Megadeth, Madonna, Bowie, Britney Spears, Strapping Young Lad, and The Beatles.  He is known to sort his iTunes library by bit rate and make frequent use of the Apple Lossless Audio Codec.

Update: As of January 26, 2010, Sam's album has reportedly neared completion.